I Lost My Email. Guess What Happened?

Time to read: 15 seconds. Still time to join Rebooting U: 2 seconds

I got a new computer (battery died on old one, blah, blah, blah) and in the transfer of data, my email went insane (that's the technical term) and deleted archived emails.

How many? Don't know.

From whom? Have no idea.

At first I freaked out. I save all those emails for a reason - to reply to people later, as reminders to do something, or to remember something funny or important. I begged my husband tech support team to find and restore what was lost.

Then I realized...

Those emails don't matter.

It's been a few days, and the world still turns. No one has been offended. I have no idea what those emails were about. If they were important, people will email again or I'll remember what I said I'd do. In short: Nothing happened. Losing those emails was a complete non-event.

From this non-event, here are two lessons for you:

1. You think things matter that actually don't. The pandemic taught us that lesson in spades.
2. You can trust yourself to keep track of what's important. The pandemic taught us that lesson, too.

So, consider one thing you think is important that actually isn't. Remove it. It was liberating to have only 5 emails in my inbox for a few hours.

I hope this helps.

Awkward transition...

The second class for Rebooting U is tomorrow at 11:00 CT. You can still join us. Sign up and I'll send you the recording of the first class about Recover: Your Brain on Stress. You can get more information and sign up here.

If you're in the US, have a great holiday weekend.

2 Questions to Defeat Doubt

Time to read: a teeny bit over one minute

The stage at Hadestown

You're in a meeting. You say something risky. The room goes silent. One of your colleagues replies, and the meeting moves on. After the meeting, you run your words over and over in your head. You wonder if your colleague thinks you're an idiot. You wonder if you should have kept your mouth shut.

Doubt runs roughshod over your confidence and energy.

Doubt is a story older than time.

My daughter and I spent Labor Day weekend in NYC eating and going to Broadway. We saw Hadestown, a sublime retelling of the Greek myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. (If you have a chance to see this show, go. Amazing music. Wonderful story. A parable for life and work.)

Spoiler alert.

If you know your Greek myths, you know how the story ends. Orpheus and Eurydice strike a deal with Hades that they can leave hell, but only if Eurydice walks behind and Orpheus doesn't turn around. The voices of doubt overtake Orpheus, and he turns his head to check that Eurydice is there. As soon as he turns, Eurydice returns to hell and heartbreak ensues. When the show was over, I was sobbing in my seat. (My daughter was mortified.)

Of course, I was sad by the unhappy ending. More than that, I was pissed that doubt won. I wanted so badly for this old tale of love and trust to end with trust. It didn't.

So, what does this have to do with you and your work?

Very often, doubt wins. Doubt overtakes you, and you metaphorically end up in hell, even if it's only the darkness and confusion in your own mind.

What do you do about it? Here are two questions to ask yourself when doubt creeps in:

1. What am I trying to get away with? Maybe you want to hide after the meeting and wish your comment would disappear.


2. What do I not want to be responsible for? It might be a good idea to check in with your colleague. Talking to her feels uncomfortable and vulnerable. You'll get feedback. You don't want to take responsibility for whatever impact you had in the meeting. Not asking about it means it didn't happen (see #1).

What to do: Go straight into the discomfort and ask, "I'd like to check in with you about the meeting. Do you have a minute?"

You'll feel better. You'll defeat doubt. And trust will win.

I hope this helps.

Christina